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The Ego Trap: When External Validation Nearly Destroyed This YC Founder

How a second-time founder Mihir Deo built the physical, mental, and spiritual systems that prevent startup self-destruction

Dear Wholegrain Wisdom Community,

Picture this: You've gotten into Y Combinator, raised nearly a million dollars, landed coverage in TechCrunch, and have Sam Altman as an advisor. From the outside, you're living the founder dream. But inside? You're slowly dying, building something 70% for external validation and only 30% for actual customer value.

This was Mihir Deo's reality during his first company—a brutal lesson in what happens when ego drives the founder journey instead of genuine problem-solving. Today, as Co-founder and CEO of Invoice Butler, Mihir has transformed not just his approach to building companies, but his entire system for sustainable high performance.

Key Highlights from Our Conversation:

The 70/30 Rule: Building for Articles vs. Customers

Mihir's brutal honesty cuts through founder BS: "We were building 70% for the famous article, 30% for relieving people's problems." Despite Y Combinator acceptance, nearly $1M raised, and Sam Altman as an advisor, his first company was dying inside. "Are you actually building for the customer, or are you actually just doing it for the article?" This question haunted him until he crashed, realizing external validation had become his drug of choice.

Burnout vs. Exhaustion: The Sam Altman Framework

Not all founder fatigue is the same. Exhaustion means you're working hard, things are moving, and rest helps. Burnout? "You're doing a lot of work but the needle isn't moving," Mihir explains. "You're pushing a boulder up the hill that will never get up the hill." Most founders don't recognize they're on this hamster wheel until it's too late.

The Weekend Nobody Noticed

Sometimes the market gives you brutal clarity. When Mihir's current product went down for an entire weekend and zero customers complained, old him would have pushed harder out of ego. New him? "I knew that would lead to burnout. So we switched gears." Market indifference isn't a challenge to overcome—it's data to accept.

Physical Health as Business Infrastructure

"I see physical health as the backbone which enables me to do the company." Mihir works out 4-5 times weekly "like going to the bathroom"—non-negotiable, systematic, designed for success. He preps workout clothes the night before, removes friction, follows "Atomic Habits" principles. Result: lost 80 pounds, gained sustainable energy.

The Spiritual Practice Founders Hide

While Silicon Valley talks stoicism, Mihir does the real work: daily meditation, chanting, studying Vedanta. "I want to get out of self—try not to be like me, me, me all the time." This isn't woo-woo; it's insurance against identity fusion. "If this company fails, I have other things to life."

Your Personal Board of Directors

Mihir's support system: executive coach, therapist, weight loss coach, spiritual mentors, family. "It takes a village, literally." He "fired himself as CEO of his body" because DIY everything leads to burnout. Founders think they can go solo while athletes never train alone—spot the problem?

My Personal Reflections:

I was not expecting to end up talking about spiritual routines with Mihir. This is what I love about the spontaneous conversations on the FBR. The way the conversation started made me hint he went into a real deep inner journey from one company to the other, and our conversation ended up exactly into sharing how he was able to do that. His process has been fairly similar to mine and it was crazy to hear his story, as I really relived certain patterns of my previous life. Mihir teaches us that when you are driven by the wrong KPIs, there is literally no other way than crashing into burnout sooner or later.

My questions to you are: Are you asking and re-asking yourself WHY are you doing what you are doing? Is the WHY you initially stated at the beginning of the journey still valid? Do you still believe in it, or has something changed? There is really no worse thing than spending so much time in pain and out of balance, working like crazy for a project you no longer believe in. Our life is too precious to be doing that. Period!

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